Carnac the Magnificent Returns

The old Johnny Carson Tonight Show had a regular skit with Johnny playing the role of Carnac the Magnificent, a mind reader and soothsayer. Carnac would answer questions that had been sealed in an envelope. He would then open the envelope to reveal the question. Here’s a modern day version:

Answer: The Drag Queen, the Sag Queen, and the Hag Queen.

Question: Who are Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and Maxine Waters.

Answer: Hold my wiener.

Question: What did Chuck Schumer post on Twitter.

Answer: You can keep your witch doctor.

Question: What did Barack Obama tell his cousin in Kenya.

Answer: The Russians hacked Hillary.

Question: What is Bill Clinton’s pickup line.

Answer: I have a note from Mr. Trump.

Question: What kind of paper does James Comey use to clean himself.

NOT FUNNY? MAY ANTHONY WEINER VISIT YOU SOON!